The truth is, I only had two options to decide. It's either I do it the hard way or the harder way. There is no easy way. It's either I would remain in that state and just watch it fade as time flows or I move forward and risk everything, come what may. It's either I would pretend to be brave or I'd be really brave. I just had to classify which is which.

I chose to move forward and risk everything. I chose not being a pussy. I chose not to pretend that I am brave. I chose to be vulnerable. I chose to put a "friendship" at stake. I chose to feel pain all at once than to feel it seeping slowly through my being.

If you'd ask me why, I'd answer, "I just wanted to do so". I wouldn't say that I can't contain it in myself or I'm taking all the chances that I have. I'd say that I am being true to myself. I'd say that I am not making a fool of myself. I'd say that I am not lying to anybody.

I say what I feel. I keep it for a while, but it would just haunt me; torture the shit out of me. I don't want that. I just don't want to add something to the list of my numerous regrets.

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